Dear Mom & Dad,
Well here I am in Camp Mero. It's not bad but the counselors are kinda' dorky. They stand around a lot and try to decide if I would like a banana slice or green puffy treat better than a carrot. The banana usually wins because they worry a lot about how fast I can eat a banana before it becomes banana mush. It's ok since banana is my all-time favorite. They take me on field trips, but don't know a lot about kids with tails. The tall dork would just let me run all over the campgrounds, but the shorter dork is afraid I'll run and hide so she keeps me on the big ivory leather thing. (Coach? Couch? Sheesh, I hate English!)
It's been a little warm so they have a little wind machine aimed at my cabin to keep me 'cool'. I wish we could just spend more time on the lake. For Arts & Crafts I made an artistic design in the wood shavings in my cabin.
There aren't a lot of other campers here in Camp Mero, did you guys know that? I hear the dorks mention another camp, Camp Opossum. The kids with tails there must be troubled as the dorks talk about trapping them. What's a trap? How come those kids get to drive up to Mt Diablo and I don't? They also have a better lake than we do, I know because I hear them talking about ducts, there are no ducts in my lake, not even any fish. The lake is named after some Indian Chief, I think. It's called Lake Aircondishining (OK Mom my spelling isn't perfect!)
It's really boring here, next year maybe we can find a camp with other kids in it. I spend time rearranging my blankets and watching TV. The camp does have a really BIGGGGG! screen TV, and they keep it on the Nature Channel for me. Dad, we could really use on of these big TV things for the Super Bowl Party. Well gotta' go, we're taking a trip out under the trees, don't worry they keep me in my cabin, so I won't be a bad kid like those kids at Opossum and have to be trapped. But it is kinda' fun to look up at my cabin ceiling and see a beautiful green Elm tree instead of a boring plaster ceiling. Hey Dad, could we put a tree in our house? Tonight some new kid is arriving here at Camp Mero, his name is Marcus, at last I'll have someone to play with who understands me. He's bringing another friend named Gaby. Gaby is a kid with a tail, with a strange name. What's a kat?
Please send peanut butter, Love your son, JOEY
Dear Mom & Dad,
I'm glad you liked my letter. Camp is still fun. A new bunch of kids moved into my cabin on Monday. Only one of them had a tail. Hamoa is a big black furry kid, kinda' scary, but she ignored me the whole time, even on the field trips to the Couch (I found out that's the real name, not coach). My new best friend Lauren thinks 'Moa ignores me 'cause she can't smell me. I think she's just scared of me, after all I do look pretty tough in my hiking boots and backpack. This time the counselors took me for a really great adventure into the wilderness! Boy! Trees, wind, birds - do you guys know about these things? How come we never go out into the wilderness?
Did I tell you about my counselors? Mr. Bill and Miss Kitty? Mr. Bill is the morning counselor. Miss Kitty is the evening counselor. Mr. Bill usually joins me for breakfast, then a field trip to the lake and waterfall. If I get good enuf next year I won't wear that stoopid life jacket in the lake.
Oh, the lake is named Lake Kitchensink. All the lakes around here have funny names, my favorite is Lake Bathroomsink. Mr. Bill is cool, but Miss Kitty worries about dumb stuff like is my bed made and do I need new woodchips (she says I do and we don't have anymore 'cause she already changed my wood chips once! sheeesh!) Mr. Bill tells great stories about trapping opossums and hiking in the sierras. What's a sierra? Miss Kitty let's me play in the evening on the Couch, but makes me watch "Geraldo Live" while I'm there. When the other kids were here I got to watch Nickolodeon, real cool. My friend Elizabeth would sneak me treats while the counselors weren't looking.
During Rats & Crafts we made cool things again. Then I ate the crayons to help Lizzie clean up in a hurry (not really but I made her think I did, playing tricks on cabin mates is something you are s'posed to do at camp, did you know that?) My old friend Marcus came back on Wednesday. With all the other kids we had hammock races. They all get in the big outdoor hammock, I get in my little hammock and we see who can swing the fastest. Miss Kitty tried to start a game where we would see who went to sleep in the hammocks the fastest, but we all said we thought that was a counselor's trick. Why can't I have my hammock tied to the two big elm trees like the other kids?
Miss Alyssa, who is a teacher like Mom, says maybe I eat too many treats, she said she hadn't seen such a round and poly kid. Or maybe that was roly poly? So I'm going on a diet. I've been taking all of my square brown nutrition blocks and stacking them in the corner of the cabin, covered by my white sleeping bag. Of course I still eat all of my carrots, bananas (Samantha calls them 'nanies, isn't that cute?) and peaches. After all I don't want to go crazy with this dieting thing. Marcus shares his crackers with me. All of this fun is great, but I am beginning to get homesick. When are you coming to pick me up?
All the other kids went home from Camp yesterday and now it's just me and the counselors again. Yesterday was the counselors day off and they went for a holiday to a place called Alpec, I guess you had to pay extra to have me go on that field trip so I stayed here in the cabin and ate the book you gave me, OF MICE AND MEN. It's ok but I really like to eat books with pictures better. When I come home can I have my own TV? The TV here is on most of the day and it's really cool. Mr. Bill watches the Stock market reports during the day, sometimes I think he's awfully rich to be just a camp counselor. My favorite TV stuff though is cartoons. I just love that Mighty Mouse kid, I don't like that wimpy Mickey guy, but he has a cute girlfriend, Minnie.
Well, it's almost lights out again. I miss you both, don't forget to bring me a present. Love, Joey